Like sticking an electrode in your passion-fruit neuron in your brain. What flavored seltzer should aspire to.
|Cerise Limon |
Don't overthink this one - it's just delicious.
|Key Lime |
The correct lime flavor. Probably can double as paint remover if concentrated.
Duh. You've heard of "smells like teen spirit", but have you heard of "tastes like millenial nonsense?"
Infinitely drinkable, sublime.
The type of limoncello you can drink in the office. Wonderfully refreshing and delicious.
Naming things in French makes them classier: "Steak frites", "Pamplemouse" and now "Pasteque".
Who knew that these went so well together. Who knew that you could achieve this flavor with natural essence.
Take one coca-cola bottle candy, put in a gallon of water, achieve instant aquatic enlightenment. Unusual, rare.
I've always hated cranberries, but this passes the test.
What berry? The uncertainty here is killing me. But who cares, it's delicious.
I feel as if this and key lime are super-charged versions of orange and lime. Does this taste like a real tangerine? Who knows, it's a robust version of orange though.
An orange soda improved by subtlety.
A bold decision that broke the stale fruity stranglehold on normal LaCroix. I approve (in my personal capacity).
Tastewise a beige paint that's a little too shiny. Peach-pear is subtle; apricot is just a little too much.
Like coconut cake but liquid. It's not for us to know whether that's a good idea or not.
|Melon Pomelo |
Close but no cigar. Not sure where the melon comes in.
|Coconut Cola |
Surprisingly inoffensive and drinkable but not clear what it has to do with cola.
Like Star Wars, Dune, or Koyaanisqatsi, which are cliche precisely because they invented the cliche. This one's boring though.
The "I mean, sure, I guess, if you want" flavor. Very much entry-level.
Yech, but I hate cranberry.
If you're drinking this, you've lost the plot.
What's up with the can? What's up with the flavor?
|Coffea Exotica |
Like a bad coffee candy. The fact that it says Coffea makes me suspicious. Why can't they call it coffee?